Best Thing
by TheGirlInThePinkScarf
Summary: He’s the best thing to ever happen to me and I don’t deserve him. I had the chance to be with him and I made the wrong decision. There’s nothing that I can say or do now. He’s gone from my life… permanently. Slash.
1. Chapter 1: Fragile Strength

**A/N: This story was mostly inspired by two different songs; "Gravity" by Sara Bareilles and "Stay" by Sugarland.**

**I would suggest listening to both songs or looking up the lyrics. Both songs are really amazing and set the mood for the story. **

**I could not decide on what pairing I wanted to write about, but I haven't really written James in this particular kind of role and wanted to try it out. **

**I was originally going to make this a long one-shot, similar to the style of my other JamesxJasper story, Can't Take My Eyes Off You, but I changed my mind. **

**This is the first part and I'll probably only have one more part after this. If the second part gets too lengthy, I'll probably post it in 3 parts. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything associated with Stephenie Meyer's characters.**

* * *

Best Thing

Jasper's POV

"J-James…fuck…harder!" I moan.

James leans down to capture my lips in an eager kiss. "I'm so close baby, are you?"

"So…fucking…close. Cum with me," I beg.

He starts pounding into me until it's nearly excruciating and I love every single second of it. He moves my hand out of the way and takes over the pumping of my beyond stiff, pre-cum slick erection. His fist is almost a blur it's pumping so rapidly. I wrap my legs around him to pull him closer and my nails are digging into his back painfully. His sweaty forehead is resting against mine and our bodies are as close as they can possibly get, yet it's _still _not close enough for me. He's panting and his harsh movements are becoming even more erratic.

"Do you like it rough? Do you like fucking me hard? You like leaving bruises on me?" I growl in his ear.

His eyes roll in the back of his head. "You know that I do. I love fucking you until you're sore. I love the fact that you had to buy a new head board after the last time we fucked."

"You can only fuck _me _like this. I'm the best and the tightest you'll _ever _have. You can't fuck _her _the same way you fuck me," I remind him.

He gives one last brutal thrust. "Only you, Jasper."

The force of his thrust and his words push me over the edge. My body shakes as the powerful orgasm rocks my body. I'm calmed down enough from my orgasm to see James lose control as he too has a forceful orgasm. He falls on top of me and he rolls over moments later. I close my eyes and we're both silent as we try to catch our breath. I open my eyes when I feel him get off of the bed. I know exactly where he's going, what he's going to do and why. I sigh and I pray that maybe this time will be different from all of the others.

"Do you have to go?" I softly ask.

He looks at his watch. "Shit! I was supposed to be home an hour ago. I have to take a quick shower and leave."

"You're already late, James. Can't you stay? You don't even have to stay for an hour, just 20 minutes is all that I—"

James cuts off my plea. "I know that you want me to stay, I wish that I could stay too, but I can't. Victoria is expecting me and she's going to chew me out for being late. I'm sorry, Jasper."

I try to hide my disappointment. "You're right. Victoria will be very upset with you for being tardy. She wanted you to pick up dinner, so don't forget."

He gives me a peck on the cheek. "I knew that I was forgetting something. Thanks, Jazz."

I mutter you're welcome as he disappears into my bathroom. The sound of the shower is loud enough to drown out the sound of my tears. I reprimand myself for crying. This isn't new to me; it's the same thing every single time. He gives me the best sex of my life and then he leaves to go home to his _fiancée_. I wipe my eyes and pull the covers up. I lay down on my stomach and I close my eyes. I hope that I'm sleep by the time that James leaves so I don't have to _see _him leaving me. He comes out of the bathroom 5 minutes later and gets dressed. He approaches the side of the bed and my eyes open slightly.

He kisses my forehead. "I'll see you in 3 days, ok?"

"Ok. I love you, James," I tell him.

He smiles before kissing me lightly on the lips. "I love you too, Jasper. Take care."

* * *

**3 Days Later**

Jasper's POV

It's Friday afternoon and I'm at my best friend, Maria's house for lunch. She's in her kitchen making enchiladas while listening to me bitch and moan about my situation with James. Maria is the only person that knows about my current dilemma. I know that she'll listen to me and not judge me. She'll also give me her honest opinion, but that's why I love her. By the time I finish telling her everything, the food is ready. She fixes me a plate and pours me a glass of lemonade. Maria sits down next to me and she has a blank expression on her face. She takes a few bites of her enchilada and she breaks the silence when she's done chewing.

"What exactly do you want me to tell you?" Maria asks.

"I don't know. I guess I want you to tell me what you think I should do," I say.

Maria takes a deep breath. "You know what I think you should do, Jasper. You need to tell James that you deserve better."

I shake my head in disagreement. "It was supposed to be a one night thing and then it turned into more. I can't just _not _be with him. I love him, Maria. And you know what? He told me for the first time on Tuesday that he loves me too."

"And? What's your point?" Maria bitterly asks.

"The point is that—" She cuts my explanation short.

"I'm sure that he tells you a lot of shit, Jasper. He's clearly dishonest and a manipulator. You shouldn't believe a word that comes out of his mouth. He's going to tell you whatever he thinks you want to hear. Please open your eyes and see that what I'm saying is true," Maria pleads.

I sigh. "You're wrong, Maria. He loves me, I know that he does. I can feel it."

"I'm pretty sure that he claims to love his fiancée, too. Do you see my point, Jasper? His vow of love doesn't mean a thing," She points out.

"He's going to leave her, you know. He really _does _love me and he wants to be with me. He's just waiting for the right time to break the news to her," I reveal.

"Would you just listen to yourself for a moment? The fact that you _believe _that he's going to leave her is one problem. Men don't just leave their wives or fiancées that easily. Is he gay? Is he even bisexual? I can pretty much guess that he's not out and proud so that may be an issue. He's just using you, Jazz. Guys like James _need _guys like you—"

It is my turn to cut her off. "That's what this is about, isn't it? You're still bitter over Peter, right? You know better than most that men _do _leave their wives to be with other people. You're just pissed because I'm going to get the happy ending that you were denied."

A look of hurt crosses Maria's beautiful face and I instantly regret my words. She gets up from the table and I know that she's crying. I follow her into the kitchen and I gently place my hand on her arm. She wipes her tears before turning around to face me. She uses all of her strength to push me away from her. I grab her arm before she can get too far away from me.

"Maria, I'm sorry. I was way out of line for what I said," I apologize.

"No, you're right. Men do sometimes leave their wives. But do you really want to be with a man that will leave a woman that he committed to? If his fiancée doesn't mean that much to him, why do you think as the other man you're so special?" Maria asks.

"His fiancée just doesn't make him happy anymore. People fall _out _of love all of the time, don't they? I make him happy and he just wants to be with me," I explain.

Maria pauses briefly. "Ok, so what happens when he decides that he's no longer happy with you?"

* * *

James' POV

I see Victoria looking through bridal magazines when I get home from work and I curse under my breath. If Victoria is looking through bridal magazines that means that she's going to start pressuring me about the wedding _yet_ again. We were supposed to get married 6 months ago; that was around the time that I started seeing Jasper. I can honestly say that being with Jasper is _one_ of the reasons that I keep postponing the wedding. I'm barely in the living room before Victoria turns around to acknowledge me. She gives me a hug and a light kiss on the lips.

"How was work, sweetheart?" She asks.

"It was work," I reply simply.

"So… I was looking through bridal magazines and at bridal websites today. All of the good stuff is either gone or too expensive. Nothing is on sale this time of year," Victoria complains.

"Ok—" She cuts me off.

"Your nonchalant attitude is the problem, James. If we would have gotten married 6 months ago like I wanted to none of this would be relevant. Do you _not _want to marry me?" Her voice cracks at the end.

I wipe away the lonely tear that fell from her eyes before answering. "Of course I want to marry you, Victoria. I love you, but—"

She talks over me. "There are no _buts _in love. You love me and want to be with me or you don't. Every time that I bring up the wedding, you only come up with more excuses on why we should wait. How long do you expect me to wait for?"

"I'm tired of having the same damn argument, Vikki. Can we please not do this tonight?" I plead.

"If we don't have this discussion now we'll never have it. You don't ever have time for me. And our sex life? We don't have one anymore. My sex life consists of me and my battery operated boyfriend. I'm so used to my vibrator now that I'm starting to think that I prefer it over you," Victoria spits venomously.

"Maybe I stopped sleeping with you because you're a bitch!" I tell her just as spitefully.

"Maybe I wouldn't be such a bitch if I was getting some quality dick! Maybe I wouldn't be so unpleasant if my fiancé started acting like he actually wants to be with me," Her tone softens at the end.

I try to calm myself down. "Stop trying to make me feel guilty. It's not going to work."

Victoria stares into my eyes. "What will work, James? I can't continue to live like this, something has to change."

I take my keys out of my pocket. "I said that I don't want to talk about this and I'm not. I just need to be alone, ok?"

* * *

Jasper's POV

I can't get my conversation with Maria out of my head. I was so upset earlier and didn't want to believe what she was saying but she made a lot of valid points. James claims to love me, but his actions definitely say otherwise. I love him too and I don't want to let him go, but I can't continue to be the other man. I want him all to myself, but that can't happen if he's still with his fiancée. My mind keeps wondering if he'll ever _actually _leave his fiancée for me. Deep down, I don't think that he will. I can't let our relationship go any further because it'll just hurt us both in the long run. It's official, I have to tell James that we can't see each other anymore. A knock on my door takes me from my thoughts. I look at my watch and wonder who's at my door because I haven't invited anyone over. I get up to answer the door and I'm surprised to see James. He normally comes over exceptionally late on Fridays.

"James, what—" My sentence is cut short when I feel his lips on mine.

"Jasper, please. I need this," He pleads.

I avoid his pleading eyes. "We really need to talk first, though."

"We…can…talk…later," James says between kisses.

"But—" I stop midsentence.

James resumes kissing me when he realizes that I've surrendered. I want him to stop, but I'm not strong enough to tell him. All James has to do is touch me and the little bit of strength that I have is gone; I can't resist him. The only thing that I can do is submit to him. I lift my arms so he can take my shirt off. He soon takes his shirt off and we're bare chest to bare chest. The sight of James never ceases to amaze me. I get on my bed and I lay on my back. James mounts me and he starts to kiss me all over; lips, neck, shoulders, chest. I raise my bottom half off the bed when he unbuttons my pants. My pants slide off and I'm going commando; completely naked and vulnerable for him. He licks his lips in appreciation.

"You're so beautiful, Jasper," He whispers.

"More beautiful than _Victoria _is?" I ask.

"Yes. I haven't really touched her in 6 months," James confesses.

His comment ignites a fire within me. I kiss him passionately and I unbutton and unzip his pants. He's commando as well so our naked bodies are pressed together. He reaches for his jeans to grab a condom, but I stop him. I want to feel him, _all _of him. I don't even want him to prepare me; I want it to be pure and as raw as possible. He spits on his hand to create some form of lubrication. He asks me if I am sure about this and I nod. He enters me and I wince slightly; this does not go unnoticed by James. He stops and a look of concern flashes across his face.

"Do you want me to stop?" He questions.

I breathe deeply. "No, it's fine. Just keep going."

He starts moving again, but his movements are very slow and calculated. He leans down to kiss me and my mouth is right by his ear. I beg him to go faster and he immediately complies. The feel of him so uncovered inside me is the greatest feeling in the world. His blue eyes are boring right into mine as he continues to thrust inside of me. I bite my lip to stop from closing my eyes. I will never tire of the visual of James above me; I don't want to miss a minute of it. I begin to meet his thrusts and the only sounds in the room are our pants, moans, and bodies moving against each other's. I need more though, I _always _need more.

I make sure that James is looking at me. "Tell me you love me."

"I love you Jasper Jonathan Whitlock," He declares as he thrusts deeper.

I moan. "Tell me how much you want me."

"I want you so badly. I want you all of the time. Being inside of you is heaven," James whispers.

It's too much, but not enough at the same time. His words are sincere and he's not just saying them. The look of unadulterated love and lust in his eyes is enough to make my heart explode. It doesn't matter right now, nothing does. I know that what I'm doing is wrong, but I can't find it within myself to do anything about it. I deserve more and my actions are hurting James' fiancée, Victoria, but I'm helpless. I am prisoner to James. He kisses me and whispers the "L" word one more time and I am gone, so very far away. I cry out as my orgasm takes over. Not 2 seconds later, he empties himself inside of me. He collapses onto my chest and I lovingly caress his back. He announces that he needs to take a shower and I follow him into my bathroom.

* * *

I am very upset when I wake up in the morning. I realize that I let myself down. I was proud of myself because I came to the conclusion that I needed to let James go. I was supposed to break the news to him last night and I failed miserably. I pick up my phone and I call Maria. I will be happy if she even answers the phone after what I said to her yesterday. She surprisingly picks up after 2 rings and I tell her that I need her to come over. My doorbell is ringing 10 minutes later. I open the door and I hug Maria tightly as the tears star flowing from my eyes. I pull away and we walk over to my couch. She wipes my tears and takes my hands into her much smaller ones.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" She asks.

I take a moment to compose myself. "You were right about everything. I was going to break it off with him last night, but I just couldn't do it."

"It's ok, sweetie. Just calm down and tell me what happened," Maria soothes.

"He has this weird hold on me. I can't explain it, but I can't escape him. I can't resist him and I was trying to talk, but he kissed me and I wasn't strong enough to resist the temptation. He told me loved me and everything else that I wanted to hear. I convinced myself that he was sincere last night. I thought about everything you said this morning and I realized how stupid I was. I fell right into his trap. I don't want to do this anymore, Maria. I don't want to feel like this and I know that I'm hurting his wife and I'm tired of it. I need to break free of him," I explain.

She wipes my remaining tears. "It's ok. You realize what you need to do and that's a start. You're on the right road, Jasper, there's no need to beat yourself up over it. You just have to find the strength to do the right thing."

"But how? He knows the affect that he has on me and he's going to use it to his advantage. I can't stand up to him," I whine.

"Your first step is to not contact him for a while. Definitely no face to face contact and when he calls, hang up. He's like an infectious disease and you need to be quarantined. You will get stronger be able to resist him easier by doing that. You won't be influenced by his lies and deceit. You need to do some soul searching during that time also," She advises me.

I hug her. "Thanks so much Maria. I would be so goddamned lost without you. I love you."

"I love you too, Jasper."

* * *

**2 Weeks Later**

Jasper's POV

I haven't seen James in 2 weeks and I feel ambivalent. I feel so much better and I see things so much clearer now, but at the same time I know what I have to do isn't easy. I've matured and grown a lot in the past 2 weeks, but I am still very much in love with James. My love for him is what makes my decision so hard. My doorbell rings and I confidently walk toward it and open it. James looks more beautiful than he did the last time that I saw him. I notice he has a bag in his hands and I invite him in. We both start talking at the same time so I let him talk first.

James smiles. "I was surprised that you wanted to see me. It seems like I haven't seen you in forever. I bought you a gift."

I deny him. "I appreciate you buying me a gift, but I don't want it."

"But you don't even know what it is," He objects.

I take a deep breath. "I'm sure that I'll love whatever it is, but I can't take it because it's from you. We were supposed to talk 2 weeks ago, but I wasn't ready to talk. I'm ready now."

"What exactly do we need to talk about?" James asks.

"Everything. The status of our relationship, the status of your engagement…" I trail off.

He nods. "I just need a little more time, ok. Just give me a few more weeks and I promise that I will have everything straightened out. I'm really working on it."

"I don't want to wait anymore, James. Believe me when I say that waiting to make a tough decision only makes it harder. You keep telling me to wait and I have a feeling that I'm going to be waiting until pigs can fly," I tell him.

He stares deeply into my eyes. "I hate having to wait too. I hate that I have to lie to her and I hate living a double life. I'm suffering here, too. I just need a little more time, Jazz. Time is all that I'm asking you for. Is it really such an unreasonable request?"

My resolve is weakening. "That's it, James. A few weeks is all the time that I'm giving you."

"That's all that I'm asking you for. I missed you so much, Jasper. I fucking dreamed about touching you," His voice takes on a seductive tone.

He leans into me and roughly claims my lips before I can say anything. Sometimes James begins slow and sensually before he gets rough, but not this time. This is pure want. My body is craving him and I know that neither of us will last very long. Shirts are ripped and pants go flying. James is so horny that I almost expect him to go back to when we were first messing around and want me turned around on all fours. He pushes me on the bed on my back and is on top of me in no time. He slips the condom on in record time and plunges into me without warning. For the first time in a while, sex with James is truly painful. I ask him to take his time and he starts to push into me more affectionately. The pain is soon turned into pleasure as he hits my prostate.

He kisses me sweetly. "You're so tight, baby. I've missed this more than you could ever know."

I caress his cheek. "I've missed it too. I love you so much. No one makes me feel this way."

He penetrates me as deeply as he can and we both hiss in pleasure. My nails dig into his back and that's my signal that I'm close. He takes my cock into his hand and he starts stroking in time with his thrusts. He thrusts and pumps 3 more times and we both shudder and scream as we release simultaneously. I kiss his sweaty forehead as he rests on my chest like always. He excuses himself and asks to go to the bathroom and I don't argue this time. His phone vibrates when he's in the shower and I debate if I should answer it. My curiosity gets the best of me when I hear "You're Still The One" by Shania Twain as his ringtone. That means that it's Victoria calling. I laugh at the irony and I pick up his phone when it stops ringing. It says that he has one missed call from Victoria and an idea forms in my head. I put Victoria's number in my phone. James gets out of the shower, kisses me and tells me that he'll see me later.

* * *

**2 Days Later**

Jasper's POV

It's been 2 days since I put Victoria's number in my phone and I can't stop staring at it. I want to call her and explain everything to her, but I'm very uncertain about it. Part of me wants to wait a few weeks like James asked me to, but the part of me that's actually thinking wants to take matters into my own hands because I don't really trust James. The consequences of Victoria finding out from me also make me feel unsure. How upset will she get? How will she react? How will it affect James? Will James be upset with me? There are so many questions in my mind. I'm so tired of living in secret though and I'm afraid that James will _never _tell her and she honestly deserves to know. I grab my phone and dial her number. She picks up and I freeze up. There's a brief pause on my end.

She sighs into the phone. "Hello? If this is a telemarketer, I'm hanging up right now. You guys are always stalking me. Get a damn life."

I cut her off. "Don't hang up. I'm not a telemarketer."

"Ok, then who are you and what do you want? I'm at work," Victoria sounds annoyed.

My voice trembles. "Are you Victoria Taylor, James O'Neal's fiancée?"

"Yes, I am. Why is this relevant?" She asks.

"It's relevant because I'm having an affair with your fiancé."

* * *

**A/N: How much do you hate me for the cliffy? LOL.**

**So what do you think Victoria's reaction will be? James' reaction?**

**I hope that everyone enjoyed it and is looking forward to more. **

**The second part will have some Victoria POV, James POV and of course Jasper POV as well. **


	2. Chapter 2: Does He Love You?

**A/N: I'm back with the second part of what will be a three or four part series.**

**I'm really sorry about the delay in posting this chapter.**

**I was working on a few other projects, feeling a little sick, plus I had some writer's block so all of that together = the reason for the late update. **

**I will try my best to have the third part posted soon since I made you all wait a little while for this update.**

**This is not where I wanted to end this chapter originally, but I wanted to post **_**something **_**since I made you wait forever. **

**I named this chapter after the Reba McEntire and Linda Davis song, "Does He Love You" because the scene with Victoria and Jasper at the restaurant kind of reminded me of the song. **

**This chapter features Victoria and James' POV, but there will be Jasper's POV in the next chapter. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything associated with Stephenie Meyer's characters. **

* * *

Chapter 2: Does He Love You?

Victoria's POV

My mouth is open, but there's absolutely no sound coming out. My head is spinning in utter confusion. Certainly this _man _is joking about having an affair with _my _fiancé. I bet Emmett paid this random guy to call me and pretend like he's having an affair with my soon-to-be husband because he thinks it's funny. I clear my throat and I take a quick sip of water. Although I have not said anything since the stranger's bogus confession, I know that he's still on the phone because I can hear him breathing. I realize that I'm panting myself and I slow my breaths down before talking.

"It's very childish of you to call me and lie about—"

The mystery person cuts me off. "Ma'am, I assure you that I am not lying. I am absolutely telling you the truth."

My voice is loud enough just for the person on the phone to hear. "But that's just _not _possible. James is straight."

"He may classify himself as heterosexual, but he _certainly_ engages in homosexual activity," The man tells me.

"I am going to hang up in about 45 seconds and act like you never called if you don't have some kind of proof of your alleged affair," I keep my voice even.

"I can tell you where every scar, mole, piercing and tattoo is located on his body. He always has sex with his socks on because his feet get cold, he loves it when I scream his name, he likes dirty talk, sometimes his left leg shakes right before he climaxes…" He trails off.

I pause briefly. "What is your name?"

"Jasper Whitlock," Jasper answers with a southern accent.

"I have a lunch break in 10 minutes. I would like to get something to eat and have you join me so we can talk," I request.

"Where would you like to meet?"

* * *

I'm waiting at a local Italian restaurant and my mind and heartbeat are racing. The idea of James having an affair is very probable and very likely, but I can't picture him having an affair with a man. I wouldn't be meeting with Jasper though if I didn't have a hunch that he was telling me the truth. He knows things sexually about James that only a person who has had sex with him would know. I see a blonde walking toward me and I assume that it's Jasper. He is a very feminine, yet extremely attractive man. He has soft blonde curls and piercing green eyes. He has a nice muscular build even though he's a bit short; he's probably my same height of 5'9" without heels. He sits across from me and I tell him that I have already ordered for him.

"I am so sorry—" I cut his apology short.

I shake my head. "I didn't come here to hear you apologize, Jasper. I came to ask questions, ok?"

Jasper nods weakly. "Ok."

"Did you know James was engaged when you two first started um… fucking?" I ask bluntly.

"Yes, but it was only supposed to be a one time thing," Jasper defends.

"So that makes it ok? Sleeping with an engaged man is fine as long as it doesn't become a full blown affair?" I interrogate.

He drinks some water. "No, that's not what I meant. It is not ok that I'm having an affair. I'm not proud of myself right now. I decided to tell you because I didn't think James ever would. I thought you deserved to know."

I laugh bitterly. "You reek of bullshit, Jasper. You expect me to believe that you have my best interest at heart? If you had my best interest at heart you wouldn't have ever had sex with James. Stop acting like you are innocent in this. You're just as guilty as he is."

Jasper exhales. "I may have told you about the affair for slightly selfish reasons, but I also told you because you need to know what kind of man that you're engaged to."

"I can see that you're crazy about James. James is a very charming guy and I can completely understand how anyone could fall for him. But James is mine and you will _not _take him away from me. I hope that you realize that," I inform him.

"I couldn't _take _him away from you if he was truly yours, Victoria. He wouldn't keep running to me if you were taking care of him properly," Jasper retorts.

"Well, I must be doing something right considering the fact that we're _still _getting married," I remind Jasper.

"_When_ exactly are you and James getting married? You 2 were supposed to get married 6 months ago. James started seeing me 6 months ago—"

I cut him off. "Do you really think you're the reason that James and I aren't married yet? If he wanted to leave me for you he would have done it already. The fact that James hasn't told me about you means one thing… you're nothing more than a side fuck to him."

Jasper bangs his fists on the table. "That's not true! If I meant absolutely nothing to him he would have stopped seeing me too. He could easily have stopped seeing me, but he _chose _not to. Just accept the fact that he can't let me go. Accept the fact that he has feelings for me and that I'm a better fuck."

I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. I can't tell him that James hasn't touched me in 6 months. I can't tell him how much it bothers me that James has been having an affair for 6 fucking months! Since I can't talk, I decide to do the first thing that comes to mind. I reach across the table and grab Jasper by his shirt collar with one hand. I punch him in his left eye and he falls out of his chair. I walk over to his side of the table and he's just picking himself up off of the floor. He covers his injured eye and his good one is glaring at me.

"You're a psychotic bitch!" Jasper insults.

"You don't even know the half. You'll really see what kind of psychotic bitch I can be if you continue to see my fiancé," I warn.

Jasper shakes his head. "When James picks me over you he will thank me for saving him a lifetime of being married to you."

I grab my glass of water and I pour it in his face. I'm going to punch him again, but I feel someone grabbing my hand. I turn around and I see that it's the manager of the restaurant. He tells us to leave or he's going to call the police. I walk back to my seat to grab my purse. I have to walk past Jasper to leave the restaurant and I contemplate kicking him in the balls. I decide against it because I don't want James to have to bail me out of jail. I just stare at him and his eye has already turned black. I smile and I have to leave him with some kind of parting words.

"Fuck you," I tell him in a disgusted tone.

Jasper smirks. "That's your fiancé's job."

The manager pushes me toward the door before I can react. When I get into my car I let out an earsplitting scream before I drive off. I'm definitely not going back to work. I know exactly who I need to go see.

* * *

I find an empty parking space in the parking lot of the gym. I see Emmett's car so I know that he didn't leave for lunch. I wipe my tears as I walk into the gym and find my best friend Emmett. He's in his office eating and chatting with a colleague. When he sees me, he asks his friend to leave and he walks over to me. I start crying and I jump into his arms like a little girl. He rubs my back in a soothing way and I wince when he touches my hand. I guess in my fit of rage I didn't realize that my hand was bleeding. He puts me down and he takes his shirt off. He wraps it around my hand. He reaches inside of his drawer and pulls out some gauze, tape and some scissors. He could have pulled out a chainsaw and I wouldn't have noticed because my eyes are glued to his perfectly sculpted abs. He winks when he notices me staring. I sit down in his chair and he kneels in front of me.

"What happened to your hand, Vikki?" Emmett asks as he starts to wrap the gauze around my hand.

"I punched someone," I admit.

"Imagine that, Victoria punched someone," He sarcastically states.

"I'm a walking, breathing stereotype I know. I can't help that my red hair and Irish heritage make me short tempered," I defend.

"So what girl was unlucky enough to piss you off?" He inquires.

I sigh. "It wasn't a girl."

Emmett's eyes grow wide. "You hit a dude? Did he hit you first?"

"No, calm down Emmy bear. He didn't hit me, but he deserved to get punched in his fucking eye," I tell him.

He finishes wrapping up my hand and he lightly kisses it. "Tell me what happened Ikki Vikki."

"You haven't called me Ikki Vikki in a long time. Do you think that James is gay?" I blurt out.

He furrows his eyebrows. "Excuse me?"

"Do you think that he's gay? Does my fiancé like dick?" I ask in a not _so_ quiet voice.

Emmett still looks confused. "I wouldn't think so. James seems pretty straight to me. Why are you asking me this?"

I hold back my tears. "He's been cheating on me with a guy."

"What? How the hell do you know that?" He wonders.

"This guy called me and I thought that he was bullshitting at first, you know? But he told me things about James that he shouldn't know. Then I met with him…" I trail off.

"You met with the guy? What happened?" He probes.

"What happened? He pissed me the fuck off! We started talking and then we started arguing. I couldn't take it anymore so I gave him a black eye," I tell him the shortened version of the story.

"It's clear that you believe this guy, why do you?" He asks.

"He knows things sexually about James that no one else should and he just seems like a sincere guy. I'm just curious about how they met. James doesn't really go anywhere except for a bar occasionally and here…"

Emmett raises an eyebrow. "What are you insinuating?"

"This guy's name was Jasper something; do you know anyone named Jasper?" I interrogate.

"Yes, I know a Jasper Whitlock—"

"That's the bastard sleeping with James," I say softly.

"It kind of makes sense now that I think about it," Emmett comments.

I feel my temper rising. "What the hell does that mean?"

"I'm pretty sure that Jasper's gay. He and James became friends and I thought nothing of it. I did think they were a _bit _too close and sometimes James would take Jasper home, but it was still very innocent. I walked in on them once in the shower. I thought it was weird as hell that two men were in the shower together. Jasper claimed that he was looking at the tattoo on James' back and I bought his excuse because I wanted to get the hell out of there!" Emmett explains.

A few tears fall. "How could he do this to me? Why would he do this to me, Emmett?"

Emmett wipes my tears. "Don't cry. You know that I hate nothing more than to see you cry. This isn't your fault either, Victoria."

"It is my fault. If I was better, or if I did more for him, maybe if—"

He puts his finger to my lips. "Victoria Monica Taylor, this is absolutely _not _your fault. You are an absolutely beautiful, smart, charming, caring, and wonderful person. If James can't see that, then he doesn't deserve you."

I blink the rest of my tears away. "I'm not giving up. I love James and I'm going to fight for him."

"You're fighting a losing battle," Emmett states.

My hands start shaking in anger. "Don't say that."

"I'm your best friend and I'm going to tell you the truth rather you like it or not. I know you don't want to hear what I'm telling you—"

I cross my arms. "You're right, I don't."

"I just want you to know that you have other options, _better _options. You can be with someone and not have to fight for them," Emmett informs me.

I notice that Emmett is suddenly close to me, _too _close to me. I want to ask him what exactly he was referring to in his statement, but there's no need. It absolute makes sense now. One good look into his eyes and his feelings for me are clear; he loves me. He's _in _love with me. My green eyes are fixated on his blue ones and I sense what's coming and I should look away, but I just can't turn away. He kisses my forehead and both of my cheeks before his lips are resting on mine. He licks my bottom lip and I open my mouth to him. His tongue slips in my mouth and I gasp at the sensation. The kiss feels good and part of me wants to let it continue, but the rational part of my brain pushes Emmett away from me.

"Uh…I-I… gotta go."

* * *

James' POV

Before I make it home I know that something isn't right. I had the feeling all day that something was wrong and that's precisely why I got off of work early. I'm very surprised to see Victoria's car in the driveway when I get home. She too is home early. Whenever Vikki is home early she's either sick or pissed off. I sigh and I prepare myself for Hurricane Victoria before I unlock the door. When I enter the house, it's quiet…way _too _quiet.

I take my jacket off. "Babe?"

I don't hear her say anything, but I do sense movement. I turn around and I dodge the flying object that Victoria throws at me just in time. I look at the shattered pieces of the lamp and decide to deal with it later because it's _obvious _that I have more important things on my plate at the moment. When I stand up and dust myself off, I am met with an extremely irate fiancée. I assume that Victoria will be fine as usual if we just talk about what's bothering her. Before I can think about what I want to say, her fist is connecting with my right eye. I stumble a little bit, but I don't collapse. I wince in pain and curse before I address my fiancée.

"Why are you so hostile? What's wrong sweetheart?" I ask.

She ignores my questions. "How long did you think that you could lie to me? Did you really believe that I wasn't going to find out eventually?"

I raise my eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about the goddamn affair!" She exclaims.

I lie. "I'm not—"

She raises her hand to hit me again, but I catch it. "Don't fucking lie to me. Don't you think 6 months of telling me lies is enough? That's right James; _he _called me and told me all about it. I even met him for lunch today."

I feel dizzy suddenly. Surely Jasper didn't tell Victoria about us. How the hell did he even contact her? Why would he do this to me? I asked him to just give me a little more time and he agreed to it. Why can't he trust me? I glance at Vikki and she still has a murderous glint in her eyes. What can I say to her? There's nothing that I can say to ease her pain or soothe her. When she clears her throat I realize that I've been silent for about 5 minutes.

I break the silence. "I'm so sorry."

She laughs bitterly. "I'm sure you weren't sorry when you were fucking Jasper."

"That's not true. I love you and the fact that I was hurting you was always on my mind…"

"That's such bullshit and you know it. The only person that you ever think about is yourself. You're such a selfish bastard," Victoria tells me.

"I know," I agree quietly.

Victoria jeers. "I can deal with you being a self-centered asshole, but I _can't_ deal with you being a fucking fag."

I raise my hand like I'm going to hit her, but I stop myself. As much as I want to bitch slap her, I stop myself from doing just that. I place my hands on her arms and I back her into the nearest wall. She tries to break free of my grip, but I'm not letting her go. I tilt her head so that she's looking me in the eyes.

"I'm not…you can't...just don't call me that," I try to keep my voice under control.

She smiles evilly. "What would your beloved parents think if they knew their son liked to fuck men?"

I gasp in shock. "You wouldn't."

"I will go blabbing to them if you don't stop seeing Jasper," Victoria threatens.

"But—"

She narrows her eyes at me. "But what, James? You don't actually want to be with _him_, do you?"

I nervously run my fingers through my hair. Do I tell her the truth or do I continue to lie to her? I take a quick look at Victoria and she's staring at me expectantly. I take a deep breath and I think about how I'm going to tell her the truth and not hurt her. I open my mouth to speak, but she places her hand over my mouth to silence me. I notice that she's crying and she bats my hand away when I try to wipe her tears.

Victoria composes herself. "You love him. That's why you're still seeing him, right?"

"Yes," I answer honestly.

"He's the reason why you don't touch me anymore and why you don't want to marry me? Do you love him more than you love me?"

I pause briefly. "No, I don't."

She exhales. "Great, then it should be no problem for you to tell him that you can't see him anymore. I can also start back with the wedding planning."

"When should I tell him?" I ask in a tone barely above a whisper.

"You should go tell him _right _now."

* * *

**A/N: For some reason this chapter was a little difficult for me to write.**

**I don't know if the next chapter will be the last one or not; it depends on how long it gets.**

**If it gets too lengthy, there will be four chapters instead of three like I planned originally.**

**This is not my favorite chapter, so hopefully I can make the next one better. **


	3. Chapter 3: One Last Time

**A/N: My excuse for why this update took so long? I had a busy week in real life, plus I posted a new story on Sunday and a new one yesterday.**

**This chapter is not what I planned to write. This scene got so lengthy that if I tacked on what was originally planned on to it, it would have been extremely long.**

**So… I decided that I will cut some of what I have planned for the next chapter and make it into a short (well short meaning like 2,000 or so words) chapter that will serve as a transition chapter to the epilogue. **

**I listened to "One Last Time" by Kellie Pickler and "Someday When I Stop Loving You" by Carrie Underwood while writing this chapter. The songs really helped set the mood. I suggest giving them a listen. The Kellie Pickler song is how I think James is feeling and the Carrie Underwood song is how I think Jasper is feeling. **

**Listening to those songs while writing this chapter also made me tear up just a little bit.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything associated with Stephenie Meyer's characters. I also don't own the lyrics to "Someday When I Stop Loving You" by Carrie Underwood.**

* * *

Chapter 3: One Last Time 

Jasper's POV

I think about Victoria and James as I walk to my freezer and grab a bag of frozen peas. I wrap a wash cloth around them and place the bag over my sore black eye. My television is on, but I'm not really paying attention to it. I'm lost in my thoughts about this whole complicated dilemma. I'm pretty sure that Victoria told James about what happened and that has me feeling… anxious. I know he's pissed that I told her but does he feel relieved too? I did the hardest part for him, he didn't have to look Victoria in the eye and tell her that he was having an affair. I took care of that for him so he should be at least a little bit gracious. I sigh when I hear the doorbell ringing because I know that it's him. I put the vegetables on a table and I answer the door. I see that James has a black eye too and he looks distraught. He walks into my house wordlessly. He starts pacing and I decide to break the silence.

I try to lighten the mood. "So… our eyes match, well she socked us in opposite eyes."

"She has a strong right and left hook," He adds.

Another awkward silence surrounds us. I open my mouth to say something, but I don't because James walks over to me and he hugs me tightly. I hug him back although I'm confused. To my knowledge, James isn't really one to 'hug it out.' I feel a few drops of moisture on my shirt and I realize that James is crying. To say I'm shocked is an understatement; I've never seen James cry. He pulls away from my embrace and looks up at me with a tear stained face and heartbroken looking eyes. I use my thumb to wipe some of his tears away and I kiss his cheeks.

"I'm sorry," James chokes out.

"What are you sorry…"

I trail off as it all starts to make sense to me. James was hugging me like he hadn't seen me for a while or like it was the _last _time that he was going to see me. He was crying and he apologized because he was going to… I couldn't force myself to even _think _the words. He can't leave me! He just can't. My whole world will shatter into millions of tiny pieces if he's breaking up with me. I take a deep breath and I control my emotions. There has to be another reason that he's apologizing to me. He loves me and I know that he wants to be with me.

I hide my despair. "James, tell me that you aren't saying goodbye."

"I don't want to, but I have to—"

A few tears fall from my eyes. "Damn it, James! You can't do this to me. I need you."

He wipes the last of his tears and mine. "I didn't come here to cry or to make you cry. I didn't come here to argue or anything like that."

"Then why did you come here?" I ask timidly.

"To say goodbye to you properly. I love you so much Jasper Whitlock. You make me content beyond words and I want to relive that bliss one last time."

I snort. "Are you telling me that you came over to break up with me and to fuck me?"

"It's not like that at all. I don't want my last time seeing you to be a tearful, depressed goodbye. I want to remember Jasper Whitlock as the person that makes me happier than anyone else. I want to remember how soft your skin is, I want to remember how good you smell and I want to remember that being inside of you is the most pleasurable feeling in the world. I want us to go out with a bang, no pun intended," James explains.

I shake my head. "James, I can't. If you touch me, make love to me, it'll hurt even more when you leave me. I'll never want to let you go. I already _don't_ want to let you go. Please, please just don't leave me."

He caresses my cheek. "Jasper, you have to stop. If you keep begging me to stay, I really will _never _leave and I have to. This is the hardest thing that I've ever had to do. You have to know that I really mean that. I wish my situation was different and that we could be together."

I don't speak. I grab his hand and I lead him upstairs to my bedroom. I immediately start to unbutton his shirt when I close my door. When I get to his belt buckle, I slow my movements as I realize that I want to drag this out as long as possible. I want to remember every touch, every kiss; I want to etch this experience in my memory forever. I help him step out of his pants and James is standing in front of me completely nude, except his pristine white socks are still on. I know to leave those on so I look him right in his cerulean eyes and just stare at him.

"Take my socks off," He softly demands.

My eyes are wide in amazement. "Why? You always keep your socks on."

"I want to feel _all_ of you. I don't want anything between us tonight," He whispers.

He walks so close to me that his nose is touching mine. I raise my arms so he can take my shirt off. He takes my belt off, unbuttons and unzips my jeans and he throws them somewhere. We are both now completely bare and vulnerable. I get on my bed and I lay on my back. He mounts me and he very slowly lowers his lips so that they are grazing my lips. He moves his lips across mine a few times before he gently runs his tongue across my bottom lip. I open my mouth up to him and our tongues battle for dominance. The kiss is soft, but it doesn't lack passion. We moan in each other's mouths until he pulls away. His mouth starts a journey at my neck and he worships the skin there. He peppers my collarbone with kisses and he licks and sucks the skin of my abs. He nips at the skin around my hips and he bathes my thighs and legs with his tongue. I smile when he even kisses my toes. I expect him to maybe kiss me again; but what I _don't_ expect is for him to give my cock a nice long lick from base to tip.

I gasp. "James, what are you doing?"

He raises an eyebrow. "Do you not like it?"

"I l-love it, but I thought that you didn't like to…" I trail off, suddenly embarrassed.

"I don't, but I'm doing this specifically for you."

After a few licks, I am standing at attention. My hands roughly grip the sheets when James slides just the head of my cock into his mouth. His tongue teases the underside of my dick and I shudder from the pleasure. I look down at him and I see that he's looking up at me and it's the most beautiful sight in the world. He hums around my cock and the vibrations drive me crazy. I place one of my hands in his hair and my head is now thrown back. He takes more and more into his mouth until he's deep throating me. I moan his name and I know that I'm not going to last very long. He starts rapidly bobbing his head up and down and I can't help but thrust into his mouth. He places one of his hands on my hips to halt my movements. He removes my dick from his mouth and I whimper before he starts licking my sack. He smiles and he suddenly stops his ministrations. I curse in frustration.

"I don't want you to cum just yet," James tells me.

He asks me to grab the lube from my dresser and I oblige. He coats his cock with some lube and he's getting ready to prepare me when I tell him not to. I just want him inside of me, where he belongs. James spreads my legs before he slips inside of me. We both moan in satisfaction at the feeling. I wrap my legs around his back and my hands wrap around his neck. He starts a slow and sensual rhythm. We're staring at each other and breathing heavily. He feels so good inside of me and I know that nothing will ever come close to this moment.

"Harder," I moan.

He pulls all of the way out and slams forcefully into me. I cry out in a mixture of pain and pleasure. He slams into me again, but he hits my prostate so my scream is one of ecstasy. James continues his harsh, borderline brutal pace and I know that neither one of us is going to last much longer. We are both sweating and and our eyes are still fixed only on each other. He kisses me and it's sweet, but full of passion and lust. I get lost in the kiss and suddenly I don't want to stop kissing him. I realize that this will be our last _real _kiss and I don't pull away until oxygen is needed. I dig my nails into his arms because it's too much. The look on James' face, the feel of him inside of me… it's all just too much. The onslaught of emotion causes a few tears to escape my eyes. James immediately notices because he wipes them away.

"J-James, I l-love you, s-so much," I barely say.

He gets misty eyed as well. "I know, Jasper. I love you too… I always will."

He moves his hand between us and I shudder when I feel his hand grasp my erection. It only takes a few strokes before I erupt. My whole body quivers as my orgasm rips through my body. I open my eyes and I see that James is also on the brink. He thrusts into me hard and he grunts my name as he cums. He collapses on top of me and he doesn't move instantly like he normally does. I run my hands through his sweat slick hair and I sigh. James is leaving me and there's nothing I can do about it, except to accept it and let him go. He rolls off of me and lays beside me, trying to catch his breath. He turns on his side so that he's facing me and he interlaces our hands. He kisses my hand and tucks an unmanageable strand of hair behind my ear.

James sighs. "Will you be alright?"

"Does it matter?" I counter.

He looks hurt. "Of course it matters. I want to make sure that you're going to be ok."

"What if I say that I'm not going to be just fine? Is it going to change anything?" I wonder.

"I just need to know that you're going to be alright," James answers.

"I will manage… somehow," I tell him.

"I'm sorry that it has to end this way," He whispers.

"Me too," I agree.

He kisses me again, but this one is different; it's filled with melancholy. I yawn and I know that I'm going to be sleep soon. I turn my back to James and I close my eyes. I'm surprised when I feel him snake his hands around my waist. He kisses my neck and tells me good night. I feel so safe and content in his strong arms. Being wrapped up in his arms _almost _makes me forget that my world is ending. Sleep overcomes me and instead of fighting it, I welcome it. I wake up in a few hours and I'm still being held my James. I recognize that he's sleeping by the sound of his light snoring. I carefully move out of his arms to go to the bathroom. When I get back into my room, I see James putting his clothes on. I silently watch him and I try to stop my heart from breaking.

"Jasper—"

"Please, just go. I can't acknowledge that you're gone and try to move on until you leave," I explain.

He respects my wishes and he leaves my house wordlessly. I walk over to my bed and I turn the radio on before hiding under my covers. I close my eyes to try to stop the flood of tears that I know are coming. Right when I think that my heart can't break anymore than it already has, it does. The song playing on the radio makes my already fresh wounds even rawer. I wipe my tears as Carrie Underwood sings the lyrics that I felt like I wrote.

_I bet all I had on a thing called love, I guess in the end it wasn't enough_

_  
And it's hard to watch you leave right now, I'm gonna have to learn to let you go somehow_

* * *

**A/N: I am currently working on the next chapter which is going to be kind of short and just a transition chapter. The relevance of the next chapter is basically to sum up what happens after this chapter and to set up the events that take place during the epilogue.**

**I will try my hardest to not make you guys wait until my birthday for your next update. (This is clearly a joke because my birthday is next month. I promise that I will update before Christmas.)**


	4. Chapter 4: Too Little, Two Days Late

**A/N: I debated and debated on how I wanted to write this chapter and I was torn between so many choices.**

**I eventually decided to write it the way I wrote it because it would be the most exciting to read. **

**I didn't want to bore you with too sad and depressed chapter.**

**This chapter features a flashback, I love writing flashbacks so I was glad that I could fit one in this chapter.**

**This is the last chapter before the final chapter which is the epilogue.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything associated with Stephenie Meyer's characters.**

* * *

Chapter 4: Too Little, Two Days Late 

James' POV

My mom used to tell me that I couldn't please everyone so I should do what makes me happy. I'm in a situation where I can't make everyone happy. I broke Jasper's heart and I'm making Victoria's dream come true, but I'm _still _not happy. I drive home in silence because I don't feel like hearing anything on the radio. The lights are still on in the house when I park in the driveway so I'm pretty sure that Victoria is still awake. Victoria is watching something on the T.V. when I walk in and I don't even acknowledge her, I head straight to our bedroom. I undress and I get under the covers. I sit up in the bed when Victoria closes the door behind her and joins me in the bed.

"Did you end it?" Victoria asks.

"Yes," I answer flatly.

She notices my expression. "That's a good thing. Why do you look like your puppy died?"

"Because I fucking love him, Victoria! Ending things with him was the hardest thing that I've ever had to do. Look, I'm sorry that I hurt you by being with him, but I _won't _apologize for loving him," I snap.

"If you love him so much then why are you here with me? If he means so much to you—"

"I love you too, Victoria. I'm also better off with you. I don't think that Jasper and I would have worked anyway," I lie.

She gives me a kiss and tells me goodnight. I already took a nap so I'm not tired. I just feel like laying down and thinking. I can't shake the feeling that I may have made the _wrong_ decision by choosing Victoria over Jasper. I think about all that we've gone through. I think about how good Jasper makes me feel. I think about how I can completely be myself around him and not hide anything. I remember the first time Jasper and I started seeing each other 6 months ago.

* * *

_6 Months Ago_

_James' POV_

_I didn't feel like working out on this particular day. I normally worked out more when I was stressed or pissed, but I just wasn't in the mood. I had yet another argument with Victoria about the wedding and I just needed to get away. I decided to go to the gym though. I wasn't really one for deep conversation, but I just really needed someone to talk to. Jasper was a nice guy and we sometimes talked and joked with each other so I figured he would be the perfect person to help me with my dilemma. I didn't see Jasper anywhere so I checked the locker room. He was just putting his shirt on when I walked through the door. _

"_James," He greeted._

_I bit my lip. "Hey Jasper."_

"_Is there something wrong?" He asked._

"_Yes. I was wondering if we could talk. If you say no I understand. It's kind of gay for me to ask to talk," I rambled._

_Jasper smirked. "It's not gay; trust me I can think of gayer things."_

_I thought that I saw him wink after he made that statement. I wasn't really sure what to make of it. Jasper needed a ride home and instead of asking his best friend Maria to come and pick him up since his car was in the shop, I volunteered to take him. He suggested that we could talk while watching the football game and drinking a few beers. I agreed as he gave me directions to his house. We arrived at his home about 20 minutes later. He took my jacket for me and then he went straight to his refrigerator to grab a few beers. He turned the TV on to the game and we sat on his couch together._

_He took a sip of beer. "So… what's wrong?"_

_I sighed. "My fiancée. She's being completely unreasonable about our engagement."_

"_Let me guess, you're scared of commitment," Jasper assumed._

"_How did you know?" I wondered._

"_All guys that propose to a girl go through the 'am I sure that I want to be with one girl for the rest of my life?' phase. It's completely normal," He explained._

"_Why doesn't she understand that it's normal for me to get cold feet?" I pondered._

_Jasper took another sip of beer. "Think about it from her perspective. I'm assuming that you proposed to her. So you propose to her and tell her that you love her and want to spend the rest of your life with her, right? In her mind she thinks that there's nothing that needs to be debated. She thinks that you've already made your choice so you shouldn't be scared."_

"_It makes perfect sense when you say it like that. I can just never see anything from the female perspective. How are you so good at it? My guess is that you're either a ladies' man or gay," I theorized._

"_Well, I'm definitely __**not **__a ladies' man," Jasper proved one of my theories wrong. _

"_I figured that, but I didn't want to offend you," I admitted._

"_I don't go around flaunting my sexuality, but I don't really put forth the effort to hide it either. People pretty much put the pieces together when they see the way my house is decorated. I could be on HGTV I know," Jasper joked._

"_You could make good money doing interior design, you know," I teased._

"_You're ok with the fact that I'm gay? It doesn't bother you at all?" His tone was disbelieving._

"_It doesn't bother me, Jasper. I actually thought that I was gay for a few years," I confessed._

"_But Victoria happened?" He guessed._

_I shook my head. "No. I discovered that when I fall in love, I don't pay attention to the sex of a person. I'm sexually attracted to members of each sex, but further attraction is based on the individual person."_

"_So, you've been in love with a guy?" Jasper asked._

_I finished my beer. "My first few loves were guys. I think that I fell in love with guys because they understood me and I understood them. I started meeting females that I connected with and soon I was dating them. When I met Victoria, I had just broken up with a guy and she was just a breath of fresh air. I've been with her so long that she's all that I see, I don't want anyone else. I consider myself heterosexual now."_

_He raised an eyebrow. "So why the cold feet?"_

"_I don't know." _

* * *

I stop the memory there. I thought the most significant part of that evening was the mind numbing blow job that Jasper gave me, but I see now that's not the case. I can remember the way that I talked about Victoria then and the passion I felt for her. Victoria used to be my world; I used to worship the ground that the woman walked on. Victoria could do no wrong in my eyes. I look at her sleeping form and the beauty that was once radiating from her is non-existent. I used to think that her snoring was cute and I loved the way that her mouth hung open when she was sleeping. Now… it's just annoying and unattractive. I can't stay in this bed anymore. I quietly get out of the bed and I know that Victoria isn't disturbed because she's still snoring. Once I'm in the privacy of the living room, I decide to call Jasper. I need to hear his voice just one more time. I call him and I curse because the line is busy.

* * *

Jasper's POV

_Pick up the damn phone, Maria. _I've never need Maria more than I need her now. I look at the packed bags on my bed and I question if I can really go through with this. I hang up when I hear her voice mail message. Fuck it. I grab the bags that I packed and load up my car. I try calling Maria again but she doesn't answer. I pull in front of her house about 20 minutes later. I ring her doorbell incessantly until I hear her groggily tell me that she's coming and to stop ringing her doorbell like a maniac. She's in a pink silk robe and her hair is all over her head when she answers the door.

"It's 3 in the morning, Jasper. What's wrong?" She asks.

I hold my tears back. "Just let me in and I'll explain."

She steps aside so that I can enter her house. I sit at the breakfast bar in her kitchen as she puts on a pot of coffee. She yawns and she looks like absolute hell. I suddenly feel slightly guilty for waking her, but what I have to tell her is important. She pours us both a mug of coffee and we both sit at her kitchen table. She's impatiently drumming her fingers on the table so I decide to just be blunt with her.

"I'm leaving," I blurt out.

She yawns again. "Leaving? What are you talking about?"

"Leaving as in going to another town, possibly another state. I'm not really sure yet," I admit.

"Why? What happened? I don't get why you suddenly feel the need to flee. Are you in some kind of legal trouble? Do you need a lawyer?" Maria is hysterical.

"I'm not in any kind of legal trouble. I'm leaving because… h-he picked her," I barely manage to get out without sobbing.

She pauses for a brief second. "Jasper, sweetie I'm so very sorry. But that's not a reason for you to leave. You grew up here, you love it here."

"I _used _to love it here. I need a change of scenery anyway since I've been cooped up here my whole life. I need you to do me a favor though," My tone turns serious.

She bites her lip. "What do you want me to do?"

"Take care of the mess that I'm leaving behind; my job, my lease, my bills and all of that stuff. Can you handle that?" I ask her.

"Jazz, I really wish that you wouldn't leave. You're not thinking with a clear head right now. Maybe you should wait a few days before making such a drastic decision," She pleads.

I slam my coffee mug, shattering it. "I'm leaving and that's final! I love you so much and I always will Maria. I'll call you when I get to where I'm going and I'll promise to visit. Now can you please handle what I asked you to do for me?"

Maria crosses her arms. "No, I'm not handling any of that because you're _not _leaving."

I close my eyes so I don't cry. "My bags are already packed Maria, I'm leaving. I really don't want to leave, especially because I love you so much. You're more than my best friend, you're like the sister that I never had. It really hurts my heart that I have to leave."

Maria starts to cry a little bit. "Jazz, you can't leave me. You're all I have since Peter left me. He took away everything from me, except you. How will I survive without you?"

"I'm not sure how you'll survive, but you will. I'll call and I will visit, ok? I'll never forget you, it's impossible. You're way too little and cute. You will find someone to fill the void while I'm gone," I promise.

Maria gets out of her chair and she walks over to mine. She sits in my lap and she sobs into my chest and hugs me. I rub her back comfortingly and I try to calm her down. She wipes her eyes and looks at me once her breathing has returned to normal. She gives me a peck on the cheek and I run my fingers through her thick black locks. I kiss her forehead and we just stay in our current positions for a little while. I look at my watch and Maria frowns.

Maria sticks her bottom lip out in a pout. "Do you have to go _now? _Can't you wait until the morning? Technically it _is _morning, but can't you wait until like 9:00. Don't you want to get some sleep?"

"I already took a nap so I'm ok in the sleep department. I have to leave now or I won't find the strength to do it later," I tell her.

We walk toward the door and neither one of us wants to make a move. She eventually shakes her head and starts to cry again. I pick her up like a small child and I have to quiet her crying again. I can't hold my tears back anymore and soon we're both weeping together. I gain my composure first and I start to wipe my eyes. Maria is resting her head on my shoulder and we sigh simultaneously.

I kiss her hair. "I love you so much little one. Promise that this is the last time that you'll cry over me, ok?"

"I can't promise that, but I'll try since you asked me to. I'm going to miss my Jazzy pants," Maria lightens the mood.

I laugh. "Jazzy pants? You haven't called me that in quite a while. I'll always be your Jazzy pants and you'll forever be my little Mexican soldier."

She gives me a chaste kiss on the lips. "Always and forever."

"Goodbye Maria," I say one last time.

"Goodbye Jasper."

* * *

**2 Days Later**

James' POV

"My mom is absolutely crazy, sweetheart. She wants us to have a damn cheesecake at our wedding. I'm thinking that we should have a butter cream cake. Everyone loves butter cream frosting, right?" Victoria asks.

"No," I answer.

She raises an eyebrow. "You don't like butter cream?"

"Huh? What? Oh um… I like it. I mean that I can't do this," I clarify.

"You don't want to help me pick out food? That's fine. You can do something else if—"

I cut her off. "I can't marry you, Victoria."

"You're getting cold feet again," She accuses me.

"It's not cold feet. It's a decision that I've made. I knew 6 months ago that I didn't want to marry you, but I couldn't admit that to myself. I didn't want to hurt you by telling you, but I know now that I would have hurt you a lot less had I told you then. I'm so sorry for not having the strength to do this earlier," I apologize.

"If you knew 6 months ago why did you stay?" Victoria wonders.

"Because I love you—"

She rolls her eyes. "You don't want to marry me, that's fine. I definitely wish that you would have told me 6 months ago, but thank you for not leaving me at the altar. But we've been through so much and I think that I deserve the truth. Can you please tell me why you _honestly_ didn't tell me? I would appreciate it if you told me the truth just once."

"Sometimes I think that my parents love you more than I do. They adore you. They actually told me that I would marry you someday and they were delighted by that idea. I didn't want to disappoint them and it just felt like I was _supposed _to marry you, even if I didn't want to. When I proposed to you, it wasn't from a pure place so even if I wasn't in love with Jasper, something would have broken us up," I explain.

She nods in agreement. "I'm hurt because I love you, but I think that maybe this is for the best. When we first met there was a spark and things were magical, you know? I don't feel that passion anymore. I guess I was lying to myself too because when you proposed to me I was scared and a little reluctant. Honestly, I think I was more excited about the actual wedding than the marriage. I also could tell that you didn't feel the same way about me. I wasn't sure that you were having an affair, but I knew that something was going on."

"You're so tame now. Why such a violent outrage when you found out about the affair?" I ask.

"Nobody wants to be cheated on and the fact that it was happening for 6 months… I mean… I think it hurt my pride more than anything. I was just so pissed at you and that's why I said that I'd tell your parents. I won't tell them why we're not getting married. I'll make something up," She tells me.

I smile at her. "You're a wonderful woman, Victoria. You are extremely short tempered, but you're also fun, you're beautiful, you're loving, you're intelligent. You're everything that a heterosexual man wants. You'll find someone that's better for you than I am."

"I hope you're right. I just hate that we couldn't make it work. I'll always love you, James. I just want you to know that. I want you to be happy even if I'm not the one making you happy," She tells me sincerely.

"I know Victoria. I feel the exact same way. Again, I'm really sorry about the way that everything turned out," I apologize.

"There's nothing we can do about it now except to move on. I'm not quite sure where I'm moving on to, but you know where you want to be so go on," Victoria encourages.

* * *

I have to go see Jasper. I really hope that I'm not too late. Will Jasper want me after I shattered his heart? My palms are sweaty and my mouth is dry. I don't see Jasper's car when I drive by it so I decide to go over to Maria's house. I've never met Maria, but I picked Jasper up from her house a few times and I know that Maria and Jasper are extremely close. I don't see his car in her driveway, but I figure that she may know where he is. If she does know where Jasper is, she more than likely won't tell me willingly though. I park my car in her driveway and I ring her doorbell nervously. She comes to the door and she's so tiny that she almost looks like a little girl. I wonder if Maria remembers who I am, and I get my answer immediately because she's scowling.

"I know that you don't want to see me, but will you please let me in?" I beg.

She narrows her eyes at me. "Why should I?"

"Because I left my fiancée and I'm looking for Jasper," I blurt out.

She places her hands on her hips. "You did what?"

"I left my fiancée and I want to tell Jasper the good news. Do you know where he is?" I ask.

She doesn't answer me, but she does let me inside of her house. She walks into her kitchen so I follow her. She gets out 2 small glasses and she grabs a bottle of vodka out of her cabinet. She sets one of the glasses in front of me and pours some of the vodka into it and then she pours some into her glass. She downs her drink and runs her fingers through her hair before acknowledging me.

"Jasper is um… gone," She announces.

"Gone? What do you mean? Where is he?" I interrogate.

She shrugs. "I have no idea. He came over here 2 days ago and told me that he had to leave because you picked your fiancée over him."

I quickly finish my drink. "Shit! He hasn't contacted you in 2 days?"

"No. I call his cell phone and it goes straight to voice mail. I don't know where he could be. You know… this is all your fault," Maria points the finger at me.

"I know," I agree.

"Why couldn't you get your epiphany 2 days ago before he decided that he was going to pack up his things and leave?" She asks, but the question isn't really directed toward me.

"I knew before I met Jasper that I really didn't want to marry Victoria. I could've avoided all of this had I just called off the engagement then. I'm sorry. I know that Jasper means a lot to you and I'm the reason that he left you," I apologize.

She sighs. "I don't know if I'm more pissed at the fact that Jasper is gone because of you or because you actually left your fiancée."

"Why are you pissed about me leaving my fiancée?" I ask her.

"You mean besides the obvious reason? I'm pissed because it reminds me of the fact that my husband left me for the woman that he was cheating on me with," Maria tells me.

I avoid her gaze. "Wow. You must think that I'm a total shit."

"I do… but it seems like you really care about my Jasper. I will call you whenever he calls me and relay whatever message he leaves me," Maria promises.

"What if he doesn't call? I have to find him," I state.

"Where would you even begin to look for him, James? He left me no clues about where he was going. Hell, _he_ didn't even know where he was going," She informs me.

"He said his parents grew up in Oklahoma, right? Do you think he went there?" I question.

"It would be the obvious location which is why I don't think he would go there. Although I'm not going to look for him, he thinks it's a possibility that I might. I really don't think he's going to go somewhere that I know about," Maria concludes.

I'm exasperated. "So you think he went somewhere completely random? Fuck, I'll never find him!"

She refills my glass. "Jasper promised that he'd call and visit. He may not visit, but he'll surely call. I know Jasper like the back of my hand and he's never once broken a promise."

I can't stop the tears from falling. "He's the best thing to ever happen to me and I don't deserve him. I had the chance to be with him and I made the wrong decision. There's nothing that I can say or do now. He's gone from my life… permanently. I was too late, Maria. He's not coming back at all."

* * *

**A/N: This was longer than I anticipated. When I planned out this chapter, I didn't include the flashback so that's one reason this chapter is the length that it is. I decided that I wanted to write a flashback at the last minute. **

**I want to explain the scene with Victoria and James because I know someone is going to comment on it. Victoria has a very fiery personality and she's extremely passionate. I know most people probably expected/wanted a shouting match during the break up, but I didn't want to go that route. I just ask that you trust me and know that there's a method to my madness. I actually took out a line that explained Victoria's uncharacteristic reaction to James leaving her for Jasper, but I purposely left it out.**

**I'm curious… how many of you would be upset if I decided that I didn't want to write the epilogue anymore and I ended it here?**


	5. Chapter 5: HATEU

**A/N: It's been almost a month since I've updated so I'm sure some of you thought that I wasn't going to actually write the epilogue.**

**The truth is that I just got really busy with other stories and I normally take a while for some reason to write the last few chapters of a story.**

**This is a part 1 of a chapter, meaning this chapter has a continuation. **

**I promise that the story will not end like this; even I'm not **_**that**_** cruel.**

**I have so much planned and I think it just works better as 2 chapters instead of one really long one. **

**I had absolutely no idea what to name this chapter. I spent at least 20 minutes trying to come up with something. **

**I decided to title it after a Mariah Carey song.**

**The acronym stands for having a typical emotional upset; it kind of fits the hotel room scene. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything associated with Stephenie Meyer's characters.**

* * *

H.A.T.E.U.

Maria's POV

6 Years Later

"Jacob, stop," I say as I playfully hit him.

He bats his eyelashes. "Why? I've been a good boy, don't I deserve a reward?"

"You're not a dog, Jake. You don't get a Scooby snack," I retort.

Jacob smiles and we both break out into a fit of probably unnecessary hysterical laughter. Anyone who is on the outside looking in probably thinks that my relationship with Jake is completely over the top and surreal. The truth is that Jake is the love of my life. Every moment with him is wonderful and it literally feels like I'm floating on a cloud. He is my hero; he saved me right before I went into a dark depression after Jasper left. His love captured me and I've been wrapped in it for about 6 years now. Jacob and I finally stop laughing when we hear the doorbell ringing.

"Are you expecting anyone?" I ask.

He shakes his head. "No. Are you?"

"No. I didn't invite anyone over," I answer.

I ask Jacob to get the door while I go upstairs and find my robe. I certainly hope that no one from our church is at the door considering the fact that Jacob is wearing only a pair of shorts. When I come downstairs and I notice that Jake is now in the kitchen with his signature 'up to no good' grin on his face. I start making my way toward the kitchen and he tells me to stop.

"Close your eyes and stay right there," Jake instructs.

I frown. "What? Why? You know that I hate surprises."

"You're going to love this surprise, sweetie. Don't you trust me?" He asks.

I immediately close my eyes. "With my life."

Jacob pauses briefly. "Open your eyes, Maria."

"Oh. My. God. Jasper!" I shriek as I run and jump into his arms.

He kisses me on the forehead. "My little Mexican soldier! I've missed you so damn much. How the hell are you? And who's the hot piece of man flesh that answered the door?"

"You wouldn't miss me so much had you called more and actually visited me in the 6 years since you've been gone. This hot piece of man flesh as you so eloquently put it is the man of my dreams and my fiancé," I explain.

"Fiancé? Congrats Maria! Have you guys set a date for the wedding yet?" He wonders.

"Not really, but now that I know you're alive and well I'll have to plan it on a day where I know that you can come. So are you just visiting or are you moving back?" I ask.

"I'll make sure I can be at your wedding, it doesn't matter when you plan it. I'm just visiting. I'll be here for about a week or so," Jasper replies.

"I wish that you could stay longer. I have to make a quick phone call, so why don't you and Jacob get to know each other a little better?" I suggest before going upstairs.

* * *

Jasper's POV

Jacob extends his hand. "I've heard so much about you. It's nice to finally meet you."

I shake his hand. "It's nice to meet you too. I haven't seen Maria so bubbly since her first marriage, but it's different now. I can tell that the both of you are really in love."

Jacob smiles. "She was a mess when I first met her. She was really sad because she didn't have her best friend. She turned me down a billion times, but I kept being persistent. She finally let me in and slowly her walls of defense started tumbling down. I fell in love with her instantly. She's the most beautiful woman that I've ever met. I didn't know that it was possible to love someone so much."

"I'm beyond thankful that you put her pieces back together. After Peter left her, she became a cynic, she didn't believe in love at all. She's getting married again and I'm so happy for her. I didn't know love like the 2 of you have together existed anymore," My tone sounds melancholy.

"You sound like the cynic now. Do you not have someone special in your life?" Jacob questions.

Maria comes back downstairs before I can answer his question. She's smiling and she asks Jacob to help her cook. Jacob and Maria decide to cook tacos for dinner and churros for dessert. She tells me all about her and Jacob's relationship, about how they met, when they moved in together, when she knew that he was the one and how he proposed. It was great seeing my best friend so happy again.

"You're so happy that I almost don't recognize you Maria," I tease.

"What about you? You haven't talked much about your life. What the hell have you been up to?" Maria asks.

"I actually moved to Oklahoma to be with my parents. I've mostly been looking after them and bonding with my family," I remark.

"There's something that you're not telling me, but we can talk about that later. You won't believe who is coming over here in about 2 minutes. It's supposed to be a surprise, but I'm going to tell you anyway. James is coming!" Maria tells me excitedly.

I raise my eyebrow. "J-James?"

"Yes. You _do _remember who he is, right?" Maria sarcastically asks me.

"Yes, I'm just confused on why he's coming over here," I state.

"He's coming over here because I invited him," Maria says.

"I figured that. I mean you didn't really _know _James, but you did say that you didn't like the guy. What happened?" I wonder.

Maria scratches her head. "I gave him your phone number a few weeks after you called me for the first time. Did he not call you and explain everything?"

I shake my head. "I haven't heard from James since I left."

"Oh," Maria simply replies.

"Ok, so what's the deal with you and James? What's going on?" I impatiently inquire.

Maria opens her mouth to speak, but the doorbell rings. She wipes her hands on her apron and she disappears into the living room. I look at Jacob with a curious expression and he just shrugs his shoulders. I pray that it is someone else, hell anyone else _but _James at the door. I didn't plan on seeing him at all when I came back to visit so I didn't prepare myself mentally. I hear laughter and it's getting closer. I chance a glance at the entrance to the kitchen and there _he_ is.

James peeks at me before looking away. "Hey guys. Sorry that I'm late. I was stuck at the hospital with Victoria."

"How is she doing? Is she ok?" Jacob asks.

James takes his jacket off. "She gave birth to twins, they were born prematurely, but all 3 of them are thankfully doing just fine."

Maria smiles. "That's great. Tell her that we said congratulations."

"You're a father now?" My question comes out sounding condescending.

He turns to look at me. "What? No, they're not _my _kids. Victoria and I have been separated for a very long time."

"Separated as in waiting for a divorce…"

James gives me an indescribable look. "Divorce would mean that we were married at some point. I never married her."

My eyebrows are knitted in confusion. "So she left you and now she's having children with another man? And you're ok with this?"

"She didn't leave me; I broke off the engagement 6 years ago. That man she's having children with is her husband. They had their first child 3 years ago," He explains.

I'm still lost. "You broke off the engagement _6_ years ago? Do you mind if I ask why?"

His phone rings and he says that he'll be right back after he looks at his caller I.D. He answers his phone and leaves so I look for a distraction. I try to process the information that I've just learned. So James and Victoria are no longer together and it's because James didn't marry Victoria 6 years ago. I'm very curious and want to know why he decided to not marry Victoria. James stepped just outside of the kitchen to make his call, but I can still hear him. I hear him say things like, "Miss you too, sweetie." "I can't wait to see you again." The last thing that he says before he walks back into the kitchen is, "I love you too."

He sits down right next to me. "Sorry about that. Now what were we talking about, Jasper?"

"I forgot," I lie.

"Were we talking about my ex fiancé or—"

I grab my stomach. "I feel kind of sick. I think I'm going to go back to my hotel and lay down."

I swiftly get up from the table before anyone can protest and try to make me stay. Once I'm out of the door, I get into my car and I damn near drive 25 miles over the speed limit so I can get to my hotel room quickly. I flop down on my bed as soon as I make it into my room. I scream into my pillow and I curse myself for being so stupid. It's been 6 years since James left me. He's clearly moved on and I thought that I was doing the same. Why do I care that he's with someone else? I didn't even visit so that I could see him again. I actually was hoping that I _wouldn't_ see him again. I start to laugh although I don't find my situation to be at all funny. I'm laughing so I can stop the flood of tears that I know is going to come soon.

* * *

Jasper's POV

5 Days Later

I haven't seen James in 5 days and I've barely visited or talked to Maria. I am mainly avoiding Maria because I know that she's going to bring up James and I'm just not ready for that. I am going to see Maria now though because something has come up at home so I have to leave 2 days early. I see James' car in Maria's driveway and I know that I can't step foot inside of her house. I ring the doorbell and fortunately Maria answers the door.

Maria places her hands on her hips. "I'm surprised to see you here. For some odd reason I get the sense that you were avoiding me."

"I'm sorry, Maria. I just came to say goodbye," I tell her.

She pouts. "Why? I thought you were staying for a whole week. Is it because of me?"

I kiss her on the cheek. "Of course it's not because of you. It's just that something came up at home and I have to go. I promise that I'll call and visit more often. I love you Maria."

Maria grabs my arm. "I love you too, Jazz. I always will. I really wish that you could stay and I really wish that you'd talk to him. I'm not asking that you do anything, but just listen to what he has to say."

"I don't have time. I have to leave in a few hours. Tell Jacob that I enjoyed meeting him and I look forward to the wedding, ok? I'll make sure to call as soon as I get home so you know that I'm alright," I reply.

"Don't you want me to give _someone_ else a message?" She asks.

"Tell him that whatever we had 6 years ago died the minute he told me that he picked Victoria over me. That's the message that you can relay to him. Tell him that our situation hasn't changed. Tell him that one of the reasons it took me so long to visit was because I _didn't _want to see him," I spit.

I hug Maria and we kiss each other goodbye. I get in my car and I go back to my hotel. I sigh before I pack my bags. I feel a _tiny _bit of remorse for what I said about James. I only feel slightly bad because it's not completely untrue. When I decided that I was going to visit, I really didn't plan on seeing James. The fact that I did see him…has me so confused and I can't handle seeing him until my feelings are clear. After everything's packed, I decide that I need to take a short, 30-45 minute nap so I won't get too tired while driving. About 15 minutes into my nap, there's a knock on my door. I reluctantly get up and open the door. I'm not exactly sure who I was expecting, but I know that I wasn't expecting to see James' blue eyes staring at me.

* * *

**A/N: I'm sure everyone noticed that I didn't write from James' POV.**

**I am going to write from his POV during next chapter and more from Jasper's POV as well.**

**The next chapter will be the final chapter of this story.**

**I hope that everyone will be satisfied with how I'm going to end things.**

**I also am setting a goal of posting chapters for my stories once a week.**

**So… that means that I will not post the final chapter until next week.**

**Well… since I decided to make you guys wait a long time, I may have the chapter finished on Saturday.**

**There will be more Maria, Jacob, and Victoria in the next chapter too. **

**Cross your fingers that I'll have the last chapter finished by then!**


	6. Author's Note

**A/N: I'm sorry that I faked you out and this is an A/N and not an actual chapter.**

**I actually have a legit reason (that doesn't include laziness or writer's block) for taking a while to update.**

**I've been really busy and my schedule and is only getting busier.**

**I have my GED graduation which is the same day as my birthday coming up (January 21****st****) and then the week after that I am going to Nashville for a Twilight convention!**

**I'm beyond excited about the convention. I'll get to rape… I mean **_**meet **_**Kellan Lutz so I really can't wait for that.**

**I will hurry and write when I get back from the convention because I'll be in Dallas for a weekend the third week in February.**

**I love every single one of you that read and review!**


	7. Update!

A/N: It's been so long since I've written this story and so long since I've updated.

Anyway, I was just coming to tell everyone that I now have a blog for my fan fictions.

I have some additional information about this story, some videos, and some information about the future of this story.

The link to my blog is on my profile (it's the second blog link), but if you don't feel like going to my profile here's the direct link: http:/thegirlinthepinkscarffics(.)blogspot(.)com/2011/04/best-thing(.)html

You just have to remove the parentheses when you copy and paste the link.

I hope I see some of you there!

-TheGirlInThePinkScarf


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